I Watched Me Some Tee Vee

Alright. I got to see some pretty excellent television recently, so I thought I'd recap a little of it for you. First, "Lost", which I had to download (actually, my roommate downloaded it, then gave it to me) because I was running my D+D game.

The episode starts with Juliet on the beach. She goes inside, passes Ethan Rom, then enters a room with a woman on a bed. It is established that they are sisters, and that Juliet is giving her injections, though both are worried that "he" will find out about them. Juliet then opens the window, revealing that they are in Miami (not on THE ISLAND).

Back to the present. Jack is holding Ben's kidneys captive in order to secure Kate and Sawyer's release. Juliet seems uninterested in this crap, and decides to call Jack's bluff by ordering the captives brought in. Switch to Kate and Sawyer, who have managed to overpower their captors. Sawyer decides to headbutt one of them into the electronic food button repeatedly, giving him a nice shock. Very effective and amusing. On the run, they encounter Alex (Rousseau's kid) who tells them she has a boat but will require their help in rescuing her boyfriend, Carl. There's always a catch, isn't there?

Flashbacks again: Juliet is stealing something from the fertility research company she works for. Extra awkward is the fact that her boss is her ex-husband (and he's seeing some new chick, who managed to sleep her way into a research position), plus he's an ass. He finds out about her experiments with her sister (which are related to fertility, unsurprisingly) and leans on her to hook him up with the credit/profits. Later, she is approached by a smooth-talking representative of a Portland research facility (at which point it is revealed that she successfully managed to impregnate a male mouse, though it didn't carry to term). He's very eager to have her sign up, but she knows she can't leave her ex-husband's employ. "Is there any way?", he presses, but she tearfully explains the only way would be if he was hit by a bus. "By a bus", she said, foreshadowingly.

Back in the ER (the one on the show, not the drama series that just won't die on NBC), Ben has woken up. Apparently, Jack's not so good with the anaesthetics. He requests a private moment with Juliet, which Jack grants begrudgingly. After this private moment, Juliet is all-too-eager to help Kate and Sawyer escape.

Speakin' a which. Kate, Sawyer and Alex have to pull a Star Wars wookie-prisoner trick (and, to their credit, they cite their sources) to rescue Carl from the oft-referenced scene in Clockwork Orange. You know, the chair that pulls open your eyes, then they show weird movies... That whole schtick. One of the henchmen catches up with them later, eager to get some killin' in. But he's shot down by Juliet, who allows everyone but Alex to leave. This last part is because Alex's father, Ben (BIG REVEAL), would never allow her to go.

In flashback land, Juliet finds out that her sister is pregnant, making her experiment successful (I was expected a "her sister's a dude" twist at the end, but it never came to be). She tells this news to ex-husband-ass (oh, look a bus in the distance) who is thrilled by the implications (do I hear a bus?) but still wants his cut. Then he gets hit by a bus. He's dead, and in the morgue, no less, Juliet is re-approached by Portland guy, this time with Ethan Rom in tow. Despite her misgivings ("But I said I wanted him to get hit by a bus..." "Did you? I didn't even hear that..."), she agrees to take the job. At this point, it is revealed that the job is "Not in Portland" (hence the title).

Jack finishes up with Ben, takin' care of that nasty ol' tumour. Afterwards, he asks what Ben told her that convinced her to help him. Tearfully, he confesses that if she helped, Ben would let her go home.

Which I thought was a good ending.