Sunday, February 25, 2007
Heya Hoya. I didn't get much sleep last night. I'm not sure why. i think some part of my body has decided that thew new cue for sleepy-time is the rising sun. This doesn't really work for me, as I usually have plans during the day, and scheduling plans for 3Am is something of a hassle.
I spent most of yesterday working on a show for Parks Canada. We were missing a couple of actors, so I needed to do my Colonel By scene with our commander-in-chief, John Muggleton. This event was more than just a scene, though. We were attending a 1830s theme night, and we were part of the entertainment. I wound up getting asked many questions about the construction of the Rideau Canal, perhaps half of which I answered correctly. There was also food, though, so that was a very fine motivator. Overall, we did a good job, I believe.
On Thursday, there was an excellent episode of "The Office" entitled "Cocktails". This one was directed by J.J. Abrams, the guy who was responsible for "Alias" and co-created "Lost". I thought it was one of the better episodes of the season.
The main plot concerns a soiree being held by the CFO of Dunder-Mifflin. Michael is excited about it, because he and Jan have decided to go public with their relationship. Jim is going with Karen, but really really doesn't want to go. "I don't like to discuss paper outside of work (mumbles) or at work". Dwight is riding along with Michael.
The "B" story concerns the rest of the office-mates, who are meeting up in a bar. Pam has decided to become more assertive, so when Roy says that he wants to get hammered with his brother instead, she puts her foot down. She also says "I'm going to start telling people what I want, directly. So, look out, world, 'cause... old Pammy is getting what she wants. And... don't call me "Pammy!" At the bar, it's revealed that Kevin has set a date with his lady, but when pressed for details he testily says "It's complicated, and I would appreciate some space on this." Annoyed Kevin is funny. After Pam mentions how cute it is, Toby spends much of the evening trying to win a stuffed animal from a claw machine.
Outside the party, Jan has the following to say to the camera: "I am taking a calculated risk. What’s the upside, I overcome my nausea, fall deeply in love, babies, normalcy, no more self-loathing. Downside, I, uh date Michael Scott publicly, and collapse in on myself like a dying star. Why is this so hard?....That’s what she said. Oh my god. What am I saying?"
At the party, Michael is, true to form, making an ass of himself. He uses every opportunity to mention that he and Jan are "lovers", to the point of making everyone uncomfortable. Karen is making Jim uncomfortable by pointing out the various people in the party with whom she had a previous relationship. Finally, Dwight is making everyone uncomfortable by asking questions about the house (square footage, construction, value, etc), eventually deciding to investigate for himself. At one point, the scene shows him waiting on a chair as a child wakes up in his bed. As soon as the kid's awake, Dwight starts asking more questions about the house. When the kids says "I don't know" too many times, Dwight derisively comments "What "do" you know?"
After one too many of Michael's awkward conversations, Jan excuses them away from the others, apparently to chastise him. She then, surprsiingly, starts making out with him, against his complaints. She wants him to slam her against a wall, but he resists repeatedly. When he says "You're acting inappropriately", she becomes frustrated and leaves.
At the bar, Pam has decided to clear the air with Roy. She decides that if the relationship is going to get a fresh start, she needs to tell him about the Jim-kiss. After everyone else has left, she tells him about it. He goes ballistic, yelling at her, then throwing his drink at the bar mirror. This part was pretty shocking. He and his brother start tearing up the bar while Pam quickly leaves and says "This is over."
At the party, Michael is frightened of Jan, Jim finds out he has been pranked by Karen (she hasn't been in relationships with any of these people) and Dwight concludes that the house is sound, and thus it was a good party. The trip home in Michael's car is similar to the cliche of parents making up after a fight at a party, with Dwight playing the child's role, Jan playing the
apologetic father, and Michael playing the slighted mother. It was actually a pretty good scene.
The quick scene after the credits had Roy declaring to his brother that he was going to kill Jim Halpert. Nice little cliffhanger there.
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Not much happening this week. I'm trying to work on some Fringe ideas. Ray and I should be putting up something special come June. I'm also very psyched about our "International Tour", which is our fancy way of saying we're going to New York and coming back. We've added some stuff to the show, so if you liked it in Ottawa, you should see it again in the States and enjoy the following extra material:
5 minutes of bonus footage
Cast commentary
Gag reel
Not bad, eh? I found out that Third Wall is having auditions for "She Stoops to Conquer". I'm a fan of the script, the director (Todd Duckworth) and the company (Third Wall), so I'm definitely going to give it a shot. Apparently they're casting gender-blind, so it should be an interesting show, at any rate. Anyway, tonight I played a little poker at my brother's house. I came in second, but I learned a little bit about how to play the game effectively.
Sunday, February 18, 2007
Saturday, February 17, 2007
I spent today doing a little work with my mom and my bro. The actual work was pretty short and easy; move furniture x into room y without hitting wall z. Simple enough. Afterwards, there was Boston Pizza, which I always enjoy.
I am in a "missing my lady" place right now, but hopefully this will pass.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
It's cold outside. Very very cold. I tried to do a little shopping today, but the cold made things very difficult. Travelling to the store was alright, because I could keep my hands in my pockets. On the way back, though, I had bags to carry. I had to do the alternating pockets thing, but it was for naught. The point is, cold is bad, but hot is worse.
I bought some swimming trunks at Giant Tiger recently. Suffice to say, they didn't really work out. While they technically fit, it was impossible to move one's legs properly. Maybe I'll post a picture of the ridiculousness of this garment.
"The Office" was directed by Joss Whedon tonight. It was one of the better episodes of the season. Essentially, a few things are happening:
* A bat has been discovered in the office. Jim and Karen pretend that Jim is turning into a vampire in front of Dwight. Dwight and Creed, meanwhile, have formed a bat-strike team.
* Michael has been asked to speak in front of Ryan's business class. Ryan has reported to the class that Dunder Mifflin is a struggling business, and is likely to die out within ten years.
* Pam is having work featured at an art show, and is hoping for as much support as possible.
The bat plot is mainly played for physical laughs. Kelly and Meredith get the worst of it, the latter having her head trapped in a garbage bag ALONG WITH THE BAT. Freaked her out quite a bit. Jim and Karen doing little "vampire revelation scenes" was also excellent ("That bread is WHITE HOT", "No Jim, this garlic bread is cool").
Michael is eager to embrace is role as teacher. He brings props, a soundtrack, but unfortunately no useful information. The questions take on a darker edge, peppering Michael with realistic talk of paper becoming obsolete. Michael defends his business, but stiffens up when it is revealed that Ryan believes that the business is dying, as well. On the ride home, Michael tells Ryan to clean out his office.
Pam’s show: Roy comes, bringing his brother with him. He tactlessly points out (eager to make himself look good) that no one from work came. Eventually, he leaves with his brother. He points out, however, that he looked at everything, and that Pam’s “art was the most beautiful art there.” Later, she overhears Oscar’s boyfriend insulting her work, calling it “department store art.” She’s not feeling great.
Ryan is trying to apologize, but Michael is having none of it. He asks Michael to reconsider firing him, but Michael clarifies that he’s “in the people business, (he) doesn’t fire people, (he) hires people.” Ryan is moving to a desk near Accounting, next to Kelly.
Pam is wandering the art show sadly, about to take down her work. Soon, Michael bursts in, apologizing for being late. He compliments Pam’s work, taking particular notice of a picture of the outside of the Dunder Mifflin offices. He immediately offers to buy it, declaring without typical Scott theatricality that he wants to hang it in the office. Pam hugs him immediately.
The last scene involved Michael hanging the picture in the office. He says that it’s important, timeless and excellent, and that it wouldn’t exist without paper.
The epilogue consists of Kelly being hyperactive and thrilled that Ryan is working next to her, further affirming that Michael may be smarter than he lets on.
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Monday, February 12, 2007
OK, first off: "Norbit" is at the top of the North American box office. Eddie Murphy goes back to the fat-suit well. I'm sorry, I meant "Academy Award Nominee" Eddie Murphy. My bad. Speaking of which, the Oscars are coming up on February the 25th. I'll be continuing my annual tradition of visiting a couple of fine friends of mine (and their daughter and dog) . I will predict the winners incorrectly, as I always do (save for last year's "Crash" upset).
Annoying television sexism: "A recent study has shown that the thoughts of the male brain are divided as follows: 50% Beer, 49$ Professional Wrestling and 1% Remembering Valentine's Day."
Hoo Boy! They sure have my gender pegged! There's nothing I like better than a cold brewski while I watch WWE on February 14th. Good times, good times. All thanks to my Y chromosome.
Sunday, February 11, 2007
"According to Jim" is on TV right now. I may have found the only thing on TV more offensive and repugnant than reality television. Cliche and sexism are found in abundance. Some fun facts from today's episode of "According to Jim":
Women like: Dresses, patterns and dining sets.
Men like: "The game", conspiring against their wives, etc.
In today's episode, Courtney Thorne-Smith promises her wedding dress to a friend of the couple's that is getting married. She doesn't know, however, that the dress was destroyed fifteen years ago when Jim forgot to get it preserved (it perished in a fire). The whole episode is about fat Jim and his fatter friend (presumably to make Jim seem less fat) tricking the two women into fighting, so that the new bride won't want Courtney's old dress.
The worst part is, Jim gets away with it! He freaking destroyed something that meant a lot to Courtney, lied about it, then pretended to care so much about the dress that he couldn't let someone other than Courtney wear it. I don't even think this was supposed to be ironic or satirical. I think the viewer is actually expected to side with Jim...
I'm getting sick of the pendulum swinging back on lead male roles on family sitcoms. The father figure used to be competant, wise and in charge. Naturally, this was a stereotype, but it represented the times. Now, we've gone too far in the other direction. Your Homer Simpsons, your Ray Barones, etc. Lame. Our patriarchs are idiots, to compensate for perpetuating the housewife idea on the other side of the gender border.
Anyhoo. Eventually I'll defeat sexism.
I had a tasty brunch with my lady-friend's family today. I intended to take some pictures, so I cleverly charged my battery, then left it in the charger when I headed out.
Saturday, February 10, 2007
I enjoyed a tasty meal made by my brother (fajitas!) and arranged by my mom. She was busy painting her room and my brother was watching the Montreal/Ottawa hockey game. He, a diehard Habs fan, was disappointed with the results (5 to 3 Ottawa, as I recall). In the above picture, he's carefully cutting the meat for our meal. Hooper, meanwhile, is searching for an opportunity (which, sadly, never presented itself).
Friday, February 09, 2007
Alright. I got to see some pretty excellent television recently, so I thought I'd recap a little of it for you. First, "Lost", which I had to download (actually, my roommate downloaded it, then gave it to me) because I was running my D+D game.
The episode starts with Juliet on the beach. She goes inside, passes Ethan Rom, then enters a room with a woman on a bed. It is established that they are sisters, and that Juliet is giving her injections, though both are worried that "he" will find out about them. Juliet then opens the window, revealing that they are in Miami (not on THE ISLAND).
Back to the present. Jack is holding Ben's kidneys captive in order to secure Kate and Sawyer's release. Juliet seems uninterested in this crap, and decides to call Jack's bluff by ordering the captives brought in. Switch to Kate and Sawyer, who have managed to overpower their captors. Sawyer decides to headbutt one of them into the electronic food button repeatedly, giving him a nice shock. Very effective and amusing. On the run, they encounter Alex (Rousseau's kid) who tells them she has a boat but will require their help in rescuing her boyfriend, Carl. There's always a catch, isn't there?
Flashbacks again: Juliet is stealing something from the fertility research company she works for. Extra awkward is the fact that her boss is her ex-husband (and he's seeing some new chick, who managed to sleep her way into a research position), plus he's an ass. He finds out about her experiments with her sister (which are related to fertility, unsurprisingly) and leans on her to hook him up with the credit/profits. Later, she is approached by a smooth-talking representative of a Portland research facility (at which point it is revealed that she successfully managed to impregnate a male mouse, though it didn't carry to term). He's very eager to have her sign up, but she knows she can't leave her ex-husband's employ. "Is there any way?", he presses, but she tearfully explains the only way would be if he was hit by a bus. "By a bus", she said, foreshadowingly.
Back in the ER (the one on the show, not the drama series that just won't die on NBC), Ben has woken up. Apparently, Jack's not so good with the anaesthetics. He requests a private moment with Juliet, which Jack grants begrudgingly. After this private moment, Juliet is all-too-eager to help Kate and Sawyer escape.
Speakin' a which. Kate, Sawyer and Alex have to pull a Star Wars wookie-prisoner trick (and, to their credit, they cite their sources) to rescue Carl from the oft-referenced scene in Clockwork Orange. You know, the chair that pulls open your eyes, then they show weird movies... That whole schtick. One of the henchmen catches up with them later, eager to get some killin' in. But he's shot down by Juliet, who allows everyone but Alex to leave. This last part is because Alex's father, Ben (BIG REVEAL), would never allow her to go.
In flashback land, Juliet finds out that her sister is pregnant, making her experiment successful (I was expected a "her sister's a dude" twist at the end, but it never came to be). She tells this news to ex-husband-ass (oh, look a bus in the distance) who is thrilled by the implications (do I hear a bus?) but still wants his cut. Then he gets hit by a bus. He's dead, and in the morgue, no less, Juliet is re-approached by Portland guy, this time with Ethan Rom in tow. Despite her misgivings ("But I said I wanted him to get hit by a bus..." "Did you? I didn't even hear that..."), she agrees to take the job. At this point, it is revealed that the job is "Not in Portland" (hence the title).
Jack finishes up with Ben, takin' care of that nasty ol' tumour. Afterwards, he asks what Ben told her that convinced her to help him. Tearfully, he confesses that if she helped, Ben would let her go home.
Which I thought was a good ending.
Thursday, February 08, 2007
Tina Fey understands how wretched this mispronunciation is.
How do? I spent last night running my Dungeons and Dragons game. The heroes were sent by a whiny teenager to deliver a love letter to a mysterious singer in the nearby swamp. The heroes begrudgingly accepted this assignment, and therein lay the fun.
Immediately after the game, I had a short shift at Shopper's Drug Mart. It was simple enough. There was no new product, so our job was to bring stuff from the back of the store to the front of the store. Not exactly rocket science. The only downside was the very long walk through wind and snow that occured after the shift. Damn the bus. Damn it.
Today, I was planning to do some laundry and clean up my room a bit, but I got a call from Blockbuster. Apprently, I returned "24" to the wrong Blockbuster location. They asked that I pick it up and bring it to the correct location, otherwise they would have to charge me a hundred and ten dollars for the series. It's at times like these that I realize how completely the public transit system has failed us. It took me over three hours and four bus tickets to get to one Blockbuster, pick up the DVDs, make my way to another Blockbuster, then come home. This made me a sad panda. And again I curse the Bus Gods.
Yesterday, I purchased a 12-pack of sparkling lemonade for 99 cents at the Loblaws (this purchase was alluded to in yesterday's title), and now one of the cans is posing in front of the cemetary that flanked one of the many bus stops of today's trip.
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
Here I am again, typing away like a monkey. I had a chance to converse with my lady through an instant messenger program. This was a welcome relief, but my attempts to call her have met with failure (busy signal, fooey). She's dealing with a crapload of problems, both environmental and biological, so I wish her strength and endurance.
Aside from the convo with my African princess, I spent today performing various chores. Among these included picking up some food. This food was slightly healthier than my usual fare, including whole wheat bread and bananas. The bananas were the closest thing to dessert I bought, as well, so kudos to me for avoiding the ever-tempting oatmeal-raisin cookies. How I wish I was eating one now... Yum. I also entered a contest for a free movie-and-dinner thing on Valentine's Day. If I win, I'm taking my stuffed penguin (mentioned previously) on a night on the town and sending the pictures to Tanzania. Finally, I returned the third season of "24" to my local Blockbuster (which is actually a lengthy bus ride away).
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
Last night I worked at Shopper's Drug Mart. It was an alright shift, many products were placed in neat little rows on shelves. My brother, Marc, and our mutual friend, Mark, were there as well. I started talking about diet, which lead to them suggesting I work out if I wanted to get healthy. This makes obvious sense, until you realize that I'm a very lazy person. Therein lies the problem. Anyway. Today, I tried to take them up on their offer. They live in a townhouse, the basement of which contains a few pieces of exercise equipment. I needed to borrow some shorts from my brother, simply because my wardrobe is... streamlined. If Goldfinger ever irradiated the black denim equivalent of Fort Knox, then the value of my dresser's contents would skyrocket. I tired the eliptical machine at first, which was something I could get into. A little TV, a little eliptical. Not too shabby. I could "not" get into weights. Weights are terrible things that remind me that I have the back of an eighty-year old man and the arms of Jughead Jones. I decided to part with the weights and get back to the eliptical, although over time, the eliptical became less appealing.
The funny part is, I spent all that time attempting to work out, and the part of my body that is most sore is the arm I used to hold the "Wii" remote when I played Nintendo Tennis later that afternoon (which, by the way, is awesome). During the workout, we watched "Baseketball", which I vaguely remember watching in theatres. This time around, however, I noticed Greg Grunberg in a small role. You go, Greg Grunberg. You go.
I'm expecting a call from my Africanized honeybee (Can "you" think of a cuter nickname? Didn't think so) sometime soon. That should be a very fine treat.
Monday, February 05, 2007

Here we are at the beginning of the week. On the chopping block today is a meeting with Ray regarding our crazy New York experience. I am not sure of my preparedness for this meeting, as I have been without funny thoughts for some days now, as evidenced by my recent posts.
I spent the weekend playing "Expedition to Castle Ravenloft" which was fun and hard. I played a dwarf cleric of the sun, which turned out to be very useful against the legions of undead we faced. Our Dungeon Master did paper cut-outs for the entire final location, which was a huge multi-layered castle. In the end, there was much pain, and even a death or two. Yesterday, we ran from 8AM to midnight, which is probably the longest session I remember ever taking part in (not counting conventions, because sleep is banished from such places). Good weekend, tasty adventure.
I saw "Pan's Labyrinth" recently, which is as good as the hype. The hype is that it's a very good film, by the way. It's very engaging, and imaginative from a visual perspective. The imagination/reality relationship is played up expertly. I strongly recommend it. One thing that irritated me, though, is on the imdb.com page for the film, it has an example of an increasingly annoying trend that I've noticed: "Received 22 minutes of applause at the Cannes Film Festival". I'm just getting sick of these increasing figures of duration of applause at the freakin' Cannes Film Festival. "Fahrenheit 911" got ten minutes of applause, "The Queen" got an eighteen minute standing ovation, at the end of "Babel" the entire audience died of orgasmic pleasure... blah blah blah.
I'm still missing my lady friend pretty badly, but my box of cards from her is keeping me strong. The last card strongly implied that I am a special individual (and not in a mean way).
Saturday, February 03, 2007
Here we are are the beginning of February. Groundhog Day has past, and the buorrowing gentleman has declared that there will be an early spring. I tend to regard this as bad news, as I prefer cold weather to warm (and I prefer unconsciousness to hot weather). February is a fine month. Though it's not as large as the others, it still managed to get a couple of well-known days in there, including the aforementioned Groundhog Day and, of course, Saint Valentine's Day.
Side note: Have you ever heard anyone say "ValenTIME's Day"? Don't you just want to mess up their hair and throw away their keys? I do.
Anyway, I'll be away from my lady-friend on Valentine's Day, so I just thought I'd write a little note in advance telling her that I'm proud of her African efforts, though obviously being away from her is worse than a very, very hot day during which someone said "Valentime's Day".
Love that spoon.
TV-wise I am planning to watch Saturday Night Live tonight. The host is Drew Barrymore, who is a bit flighty but at least genuine. She's been a good host in the past, so here's hoping for tonight. More Kenan Thompson would be good. I'm also very excited about "Lost" coming back this week. I think I may have to work during the show, but I'll try to download it afterwards. I'll post a summary afterwards.
Friday, February 02, 2007

This is a picture of my television seat, which is located above my chest of drawers and beneath my true blue friend Burgess Meredith. We have good times, Burgess Meredith and I. We enjoy such excellent programs as "The Office" and "The Colbert Report" together. In fact, he's presently perched atop a repeat of "The Office". Fortunately, there were "two" episodes of the show on tonight, and the first was a new episode. A summary will follow:
Phyllis is getting married next week, so Michael is trying to psyche people up for the event with bachelor(ette) parties. Michael's middle-aged frat boy friend Todd Packer insists that the guys' party include a stripper. Michael is hesitant until the Pac-Man suggests that the women get a male stripper for equality's sake. Meanwhile, Karen and Jim's relationship has become a little more difficult. Over the last week, the couple has been having late night talks on the subject of Jim's feelings for Pam. Karen believes (or has convinced herself) that these talks has resolved the issue between them, while Jim seems weary over the lost sleep.
The hiring of strippers is left to Dwight and Jim. Dwight's female stripper proves to be very popular (although her presence is predictably upsetting to Angela), but Michael feels the pains of guilt halfway through a lapdance. The task of hiring a male stripper is left to Jim, who chooses to enlist the help of a Benjamin Franklin historical re-enactor instead. This last plot point had me wondering whether they would adapt this episode for the Canadian version (which I would really like to check out, if only my French was a little better), and if they would have a Parks Canada employee show up as Sir John A MacDonald instead of Mr. Franklin. Anyway. Dwight is 99% sure that this man is not Ben Franklin, therefore sets out to stump him with American Revolution-era trivia (to no success).
It was a good episode, and I'm very glad that the show managed to sustain the fantastic energy and quality of writing that really took off in the second season.
Another show that has caught my eye (and attention) recently is "Aqua Teen Hunger Force". Unfortunately, the show is kind of hard to explain. Essentially it's about Flylock, Master Shake and Meatwad, three anthropomorphic food orders that share a bungalow. Frylock is the mature, scientifically minded one. Master Shake is the irresponsible, foolish con-man and Meatwad is the childlike metamorph who is too-easily swayed by him. Their neighbour, Carl, is a balding, lazy shlub who is constantly having his life (and car) ruined by the trio, largely due to the efforts of Master Shake. The show also supports a wide variety of interesting supporting characters (some of which, the Moonites, appeared recently in Lite-Brite form and sparked fears of a terorrist plot down in the States, but you can read all about that in the news) The show typically has absurd plots, and it's often incredibly offensive, but it's always engaging.
I'm resisting the urge to get a haircut... But perhaps, instead, that instinct is one I should follow. We'll see what happens tomorrow (later today, technically...)
Domville out!
Thursday, February 01, 2007
The task at hand is "updating". I have a lady friend, let us call her "Spoon", who I suspect will actually bother to read this. This is because she, for a reason I am not quite certain, "cares" for me. Moreover, and perhaps more shockingly, she actually "wuvs" me. Thus, largely for her benefit, I will be updating this blog as frequently as possible for the duration of her absence. And while it might seem that a social butterfly such as myself would have very little free time, the actual truth of the matter might just surprise you (hint: I have started using the phrase "my shows" with regard to television programs that I watch daily, some of the titles will be revealed later).
Unfortunately, as the amount of content increases, the quality of content will surely diminish. I realized earlier today that the reason my updates were infrequent is that in previous months, I actually considered whether readers would find my material relevant and interesting.
No longer.
From now on, we are serving Matthew's opinions, observations and vague attempts at wit. Be warned: I will not be bothered to spellcheck. Moving on.
Daniel Radcliffe is coming under fire from some parents for taking a role in a production of "Equus". Apparently they're taking issue with the play's sexual content and are worried that it comes in conflict with Radcliffe's established role as "Harry Potter" in the eponymous films. Most annoyingly, ABC news called it a "new play" rather than a "new production" (but that will be my whiny theatre complaint for 2007). Personally, I'm happy for Radcliffe. Apparently he's done quite a bit of stage work, so I'm glad that the Harry Potter thing is opening further doors for him. "Equus" is also one of my favourites, so I hope the show works out.
Back to "24". I finished Season Three, and I found the conclusion very satisfying. Good suspense, excellent acting (particularly from Gina Torres, a perennial favourite of mine) and a fine resolution. I may rent Season Four, but I may hold off for the return of my Dark Continent-bound paramour.
I have found myself staying up later and later, which is not really by choice. I keep getting distracted by the incredibly-addictive "Settlers of Catan" java game. Sometimes I wish the actual board game let me just hit "Quit" when things take a real turn for the worst. And those artificial players are "vengeful". They know how to kick you when you're down. They'll rip a brick card out of your hand, even though you just traded four sheep to get it. It's heartbreaking enough to induce me to swear at them in the chat window, even though I'm aware that they cannot understand my rantings, nor respond.
I'll turn to the subject of "my shows" on tomorrow's post.